� �� A confidential source told Swiftpolitics about a secret meeting between Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palen at Washington D.C.'s Le Swank restaurant. We bugged the table. Here is the transcript.
� �� Sarah, '' Hi Can I call you by your first name Hillary ? ''. Hillary, '' Sit down and be quiet you idiot, ''. '' You betcha, ''. '' Now listen, this table may be bugged, we'll have to speak in innuendo, ''. '' I don't mind a few cockroaches but I don't habla espanol, ''. '' Never mind. Here's the deal sister, you and I could make history as the first women President and Vice President, ''. '' Which part do I get ? ''. '' Vice President of course, ''. '' You betcha ''. '' That's it ? You betcha ? That's all you have to say ?''. '' This conversation has already lasted longer than the last time someone asked me to be Vice President, ''. '' Here's the deal, between the two of us we'll have the women's vote locked up, republican and democrat, no one will dare go against us, ''. '' But what about the men folk, Billy and Todd ? ''. '' One will have to keep his zipper closed and the other his mouth shut, ''. '' Okay, what are we going to wear ? ''. '' What kind of question is that ? ''. '' Well I'm tired of this Tina Fey look and you just about wore your seat out in them pants suits, ''. '' That's not important. We have to decide on the issues, ''. '' Can't we just make up a bunch of lies and smear everybody ?� That's what those old men who work for John McCain told me to do, ''. '' At least they had one bright idea. Now listen, I'll talk about foreign affairs, ''. '' How come you get foreign affairs ? ''. '' I've been dealing with affairs since the day I married Bill, he could get more money as a pitchman for viagra then he got for those stupid memoirs, ''. '' You know honey, it's good were having girlie talk, I often wonder what Todd does while I'm on the campaign trail. The last I saw him he was heading off on his snow mobile to western Alaska. I told him I needed to brush up on foreign affairs so he was going to take some pictures of Russia for me. I figure I can use them for show and tell, ''. '' You just concentrate on domestic issues Sarah, ''. '' You mean like having babies and raising kids ? You betcha ''. '' Hey that's pretty good, this might work. Of course after we get elected we'll have to fill the cabinet, ''. '' We can pick up some things from Wal Mart honey, I like their dinner ware, and no more serving pork at state dinners, we got to get rid of pork you know, ''. '' On second thought maybe this won't work after all, do you have Condolezza Rice's cel number ?''. '' Does she work for Fox News ? They're the only ones I'm allowed to talk to, ''. '' Wait a minute, I think there's a microphone in the sugar bowl ''. '' It's probably Katie Couric, she's so sweet but she winds up making a fool out of you, ''. '' I wonder how she managed to do that Sarah ? How did you kill that moose anyway, talk him to death ? ''. '' Oh yeah Hillary, if you ever went to a hockey game the high school band would probably play Hail to the Bitch ''.
� �� It was at this point that our microphone went dead after a lot of screaming and breaking dishes. But don't worry. Swiftpolitics has a tip that Bill Clinton and Todd Palen have been seen at the Red Neck Bar and Grill knocking down a few brewskis. We're on the case.
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